Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
