You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
