That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
