I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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