sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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