She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
