you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
