He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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