I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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