i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
