fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
