i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
