They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
