I must be too annoying 4 u.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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