Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
