I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i was born a porn star she said
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Randomize
