Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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