After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
