your thong is hanging out like whoa
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
