it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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