So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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