someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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