I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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