Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize