every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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