I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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