Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
