i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
