what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
