adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
