When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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