the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
