It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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