we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
