just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
