Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
