It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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