He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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