do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
