My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
