some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
