before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
