just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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