Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
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You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
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I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.