dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend