did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS