eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize