NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
