Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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