I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
