Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
