i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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