You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
