rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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