Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize