What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
