STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
