Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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