This girl is more easily done than said...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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