I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
