My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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