When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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