Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
